The product of strict Irish-Catholic parents, I was shielded from the very existence of sex from the beginning. And by shielded I mean hidden in a cave with only a sleeping bag, oil lamp and every book in the "Little House" series.
OK, maybe I'm being a tad dramatic. (not really) But in all seriousness, my parents kept a close eye on everything that I watched, read and listened to. It wasn't until my tenth year that I got real insight into exactly what it was that adults did for fun. And my education came from the well-known and quite revered 80's American Institution: Late Night Skinemax movies
Slumber parties were always peppered with after hours titles like: "The Playbirds," "Confessions of a Window Cleaner," and who could forget that French classic: "The Tender Cousins?" With the volume turned low, less it float up through the vents and into the ears of an unsuspecting mother. In our pink and blue ruffled nightgowns, my best friend Julie and I sat inches from the screen, our fingers dipped in a shared bowl of greasy popcorn, our heads turning at grotesque angles as we tried to figure out just exactly how a human being could bend that way without cracking in two.
As we stared at the twisted bodies on screen, all I could think was: ": Is that what you’re supposed to do with boys when you get older? How do they get through it without laughing?" I thought of all the boys I currently had crushes on: Ricky Schroder, Corey Feldman, Jesse, who sat next to me in Science always poked me with his pencil...I wondered if everyone took gymnastics in high school. How else would we get through this deed without needing immediate surgery?
How would I ever learn everything I needed to know? Stay tuned
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